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X-Men origins Wolverine

As i sat in my seat, waiting for the 2:50 Saturday matinée to start, i was ripe with expectation. After witnessing the destruction of what could have been an epic trilogy i was eager to see the second attempt at a classic storyline. (I’m sorry i have to get into this for a minute. A special Fuck You to whoever decided Brett Ratner should step in and take over for Bryan Singer. To let Brett direct the third and final installment of this developing saga was like having another man finish your wife off in the sack, before could bust your sticky goodness all over her spent face. ) Sorry.. back on track.. Like i said i was expecting a more thought out, darker, grittier take on the series. Not unlike what Bruce Nolan did for the Batman series. However, much to my chagrin i had to bare witness to another rushed, flashy, trying to be over the top Hollywood stereo typical garbage.

Where.. to start…lets go with the CGI. The CGI was god awful in a genre that demanded it to be perfect. There is a scene, shortly after our hero gets his Adamantium make-over, where he is inspecting his new claws and it looks like the cartoon from the early nineties. Sabertooth was redone with the right portrayal i believe, but his special effects looked like shit as well. This next part i say with utter contempt, Whoever the Fuck decided to cast Ryan Reynolds in a super hero movie should be dragged into the street and shot. I mean did anyone see Blade Trinity??? He is an over rated actor that can’t play any other character than a one-line spitting douche bag. He needs to stick to his comedies about waiting tables.  I mean i realize that the character “Deadpool” was supposed to be a “smart-alec”, but honestly it could have been done in a far less annoying way.   Plus no one, and i mean no one, can watch Reynolds dual wield ninja swords and take him seriously.

The rest of the cast of mutants were there merely as filler.  I mean i really believe Will.I.Am tried his hardest to look like an Actor, but his performance left something to be desired.  Then we get to Hugh.  I hold nothing but respect for the singing, dancing, dude-kissing talents of this Broadway/ Big screen actor.  However, i reserve no respect for this piece of shit film, i’m quite sure he was less than enthusiastic to be involved in.  A film that took in a modest 87 million in the opening weekend, they were projecting over 95.  Hugh’s acting was pretty consistent with his work on the original three movies, so i was not disappointed there.  With the acting surrounding Jackman, the terrible CGI, and lackluster storyline it was hard for me not to walk out 30 minutes into the movie.  The only reason i stayed, and the only bright spot i can talk about, was Gambit.  I thought the choice of actor was good, not great, but good none the less.  It was amazing to finally see him get involved in the series, even if he had to be involved in this shitty movie.

Juice’s final assessment is 1 star out of 5.  If the studio wanted a hit, they should have went the Bruce Nolan way and gave the audience a darker, grittier film.  One that concentrated on telling a goo d story instead one full of flashy, over done action scenes that only look good in previews.

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